Congratulations! You were accepted.
Your application was wildly inventive,
and we think you will shine here
among the old books, lectures, and late night discussions
about post-modern English literature, American
poetry, and existentialism. We know you don’t
have the best GPA history, but we trust from
your recent endeavors that you have learned a thing
or two about the kind of hard work that will be
required of you here, and we think you are capable.
This is a great challenge, and we think are up to task.
You made the right choice in applying to our institution.
We are such a good fit for one another.
Unfortunately, when you begin the program here, you will
not have time to work as a waitress as you have been doing
for the past nine years, and we hope that you will not
greatly miss it. We will certainly extend to you a
full scholarship and stipend
to cover your cost of living, health and dental insurance.
What you are pursuing matters.
Our resources are available
to help you succeed.
We look forward to welcoming you during
orientation. If you have any questions
or concerns, please contact the personal
advisor we have assigned to assist and
encourage you every step of this process.
The Graduate School of Your Choosing