There are things that I am learning that I didn’t know I needed to know. There are colours of sand and wave breaking against a sky I couldn’t have imagined being taken by. There are shadows here a different shade than I’m used to. Conversations around strawberry beer and jam sessions where the musicians play every instrument in the room and write songs on each other’s breath.
I would not have sat around that table until morning unless you said the things that you said, but you did. And in the morning I would not have known to put on my slicker or get into the car at the time that I did if there was not divine intervention. I am not wasting time. People believe in things here. I am moved.
Peace comes out of the gutters when it’s raining. It overflows the Tyne and falls on every bridge in Newcastle. There are holy spirit shadows on alleys that run from street to pub to train station. Purpose sounds like creator. Sounds like release. Sounds like I am exactly where I am meant to be.
What an overwhelming feeling. The rain in England feels like a homecoming. The rain in England sounds like ballet dancers rushing to the barre and mirror. Smells like river city and old castle secrets. Looks like refracted muddy mirrors and stone wall fortresses nestled into home.
Sometimes I’m not sure why I’m going. Sometimes I’m not sure why I let other countries have me. Newcastle made me remember. There are women with hearts made of gold tried by fire walking fast across oceans in homes of their own here. I go because there are people with voices that sound like coins falling into coffers, and I am made richer by the hearing.
The ocean has carved a road out of itself for me. The road has built walls for my protection and I’ve got beds waiting for me in castles nestled into mountains I’ve never seen. I go because secrets wait to whisper themselves into my bones if only I will come close enough to hear. I go because love will satisfy itself. There are friendships forged by the crossing of the Atlantic and I am one step closer to knowing something beautiful.